The Burden of Memories
by kissedbynight
Summary: The air smelt thick of blood, sweat and mead like any popular tavern should smell of. Among the merrier goers, the drunks and couples sat a group of six men all nursing a tankard of mead in their hands sharing the same somber look. (Freylin) (bromance) (mentions of adult themes-you have been warned; abuse, nudity.) WRITER IS BACK, MORE TO FOLLOW THIS PSA
1. Awakening

~Hello fellow fans of the Merlin world! Tis I, Sydney-the author that rarely updates and half asses the majority of my stories…yaaaaaaa! Anyways, we should know the standards Disclaimer-I don't own, if I did it sure as hell would not have ended like that. Also!

This is normal writing.

 _ **This is my smacy narrator writing.**_

 _And this is POV's thoughts._

That should be it…so enjoy this-I am going to say two-shot…because I was aiming for one and it kind of kept going…opps…

* * *

 _ **The air**_ _ **smelt**_ _ **thick of blood, sweat and mead like any popular tavern should smell off. Among the merrier goers, the drunks and couples sat a group of six men all nursing a tankard of mead in their hands sharing the same somber look. These men covered in dirt and grim are known as the nights of the round table and of course King Arthur himself; this particular group of men are known to the tavern scene as loud, eager, joyful and in some cases drunkards whenever they get together and let go of their titles and positions and just be equals. So why might you ask are they like this tonight? The answer is simple-for there is one member missing tonight and that would be their beloved Merlin.**_

 _ **Curious aren't you? Shall we take a look at what has transpired here tonight? I thought you would say as such, so let me take you back, back to the start of this story so you can see how things can change in the blink of an eye.**_

* * *

 **Merlin:**

 _Two years today. The anniversary of your death my beloved Freya, and I am stuck cleaning chamber pots for the clot pole. I know you would laugh at this had it been our wedding anniversary instead so for today I shall laugh for us both, smile for us both and lover for us both even when all I want to do is mourn for you._

 _Today I bought strawberries because I know they are your favourite, but it is not you who will enjoying them. I decided I would give them to Gwen, she likes sweet things like that-much like yourself: I can't tell you I am giving them to her because even if I know they are your favourite I wouldn't be able to taste them without you._

 _Today there is a royal visitor coming from a neighbouring country so there is music and dancing everywhere. So many wonderful foods and wines, I keep reminding Arthur not to eat too much otherwise he'd get fatter; though those words seem empty to me seeing him get worked up over it reminds me of back then so I think I will keep it up. Also Gwen had a new dress made for this visitor I know you would have gushed at its splendor; I am also thankful it wasn't red because I don't think I could have lasted the day with seeing a ghost of you in the halls._

 _Freya, I have missed you so much and for so long but I promise I will live on for you so that when we meet again I can tell you of all the things you have missed._

"Merlin!"

My head shot up, whacking it against the stone of the wall and snapping me completely out of my own thought. I groan as I look at the pile of chamber pots surrounding me, what else did that clot pole want? I put the one I was cleaning down and pull my handkerchief down from my nose before brushing off my pants.

"Marry, would it be alright if I left these here for now I can hear the royal prat calling for me."

The older woman laughed, "Of course Merlin, I will have Sam finish them for you. Now go see what the prince wants."

I smile and press my lips to her hair, "I owe you one Marry!"

Today is a day of joy, lots of work to be done around the castle in preparation for the Sir Winchester an old friend of the late king. I haven't heard much of this man, but Arthur remembers spending many summers spent hunting on his lands back when he was a boy so for Arthurs sake I will do the best that I can to prepare.

I found Arthur in his chambers, his clothes strewed about the room as if a wind storm ripped through that place alone.

"Arthur…"

"Don't you say anything Merlin."

"You clot pole."

* * *

It took two hours to clean Arthurs room back into a presentable state and another hour just to dress the block head. But I did it, he was dressed, groomed and didn't wreak of horse dung and sweat anymore; even though it was only something small and insignificant as order I am really grateful I have magic. Now to finish my chores.

Stables-mucked.

Laundry-cleaned.

Rooms-aired and with new linins.

Dogs-walked.

"MERLIN!"

I tilt my head up towards the heavens, "please don't let it be polishing-anything but that."

"Merlin, what in God's name took you so long?"

I had to bite my tongue from uttering my normal response to him, instead I just bowed my head and let myself catch my breath.

"My apologies Sire, I was in the west wing when I heard your summoning's." I looked up at him from my bowed position, hoping he would be able to read my eyes and know I'm calling him a prat within my head at this moment.

I heard a scuff and my head snapped towards the imposing man standing beside Arthur; his dark hair had wisps of silver framing his face as well as a white bread growing out with speckles of grey. His eyes were dark and cold-almost a lifeless dull look and his jaw was set into a sneer. He would have given Uther a shiver I am certain.

I lowered my bow, "Forgive my tardiness Sir."

The man narrowed his eyes once more and turned his body from me.

"Arthur, is this really the type of servant you choose to keep at your side?"

Arthur just laughed and clasped the man's shoulder, "You would be surprised at all that Merlin can do-as dimwitted as he may seem he's not as bad as you are believing." With his hand on Sir Winchester's shoulder he turned him so they were now both looking at me, "How about, while you stay here, take Merlin to be your servant."

Damn you Arthur you bloody prat, I am going to spit in your mead for a month I swear it!

After silence from Sir Winchester, Arthur just smiled and dropped his hand, "Splendid, it has been decided then, Merlin you are to be Sir Winchesters servant for the duration of his stay!"

"Yes Sire."

"Fantastic, let's go eat!"

I have a bad feeling about this.

* * *

Three days turned into three months for Lord Winchester's stay at the castle. It seemed the more time passed the more he wished to stay and the more I wished I had the great dragon under the castle again so I could release him on this pompous, self-serving, vile prick.

It wasn't horrible at first, it was very much like every other nobility family that came to visit the castle; rude and had a stuffy atmosphere about them but manageable. This beast could hardly qualify as that anymore. Around the second week of his extended stay he stopped thinking of the castle as that but rather a vacation home for himself.

Sure, around Arthur and the Lords and Knights that mattered he poised himself a respectable man but only those under his boot knew the real him. And the real him makes me want to have Uther back. He is sick.

Thankfully I was assigned to him man, had it been Brass jokes I don't believe he would have survived the first month. What Arthur doesn't see about this man is that he is a true monster through and through. I am thankful that my magic flows in me for I have been relying on it to keep me from tumbling over.

Sir Winchester is cruel. This morning I stopped a maid from entering his room because I myself had to remove the body of the last woman that went in there; she was cold as the stone walls of the castle, her skin was purple and yellow, her lower regions were mutilated and sticky with blood and wreaked of urine. Her name was Bella; she was a young woman from the country trying to make a living for herself-she had worked her long but she was a chipper woman. Since that day, two months ago, I allow only myself to enter him room; for I couldn't bear the thought of having to clean the body and mend the flesh of a dear friend once again.

I thank my status as man servant to the king that I have avoided death or serious injury thus far; that being said, I do not know how long I can endure this. His room is always filled with filth; from his clothes to lining drenched in wine and other fluids I would rather not focus on. Women laying in piles on his bed while he ate at the table.

"Merlin, you are late."

No I am not, "Apologies' Sir, I was assisting in the birth early this morning, time seemed to have passed me by."

I felt the hot steel of the fire stoke press against my back, searing the flesh that he had cut open the night before with his belt. The smell of burning flesh assaulted by nose and made my stomach want to heave out.

"Try not to repeat this tardiness again Merlin or next time I won't be as gentle on you."

"Yes Sir."

There was a loud knock at the door and to stocker was lifted from my back.

"Who's there?"

"It is me, Arthur, I was wondering if you would like to join me and my men on a hunt this morning-last night on patrol we saw some trails and it seems like there is a lot of game around."

"Of course, allow me to dress myself and I shall meet you down by the stables."

"Sounds wonderful, oh and if you happen to see Merlin tell him he must join the hunt as well."

"I shall pass the word on your majesty."

Soon the sound of Arthurs heavy boots where nothing more than an echo.

"Well boy you heard the King, go down and ready my horse or else there shall be consequences for you later, I can promise you that much."

* * *

I bow my head once more and turn out the door trying my hardest not to faint. The pain was still shooting flares up my body as if the hot iron was still pressed against me. Damnit-how am I going to hide this one? I can't avoid the stables in fear of sir Winchester, but I can't hide this pain.

 _Freya, help me I can't do this on my own. The pain I feel right now only adds to my suffering-how can I keep hiding everything that I am, everything that I feel…how can I hide you? The one person who never made me feel like I had to hide, the one person who embraced me for all that I am and loved that person. Freya, help me, my control is slipping, I can feel it now. The more abuse this body takes the sooner I will give out._

 _Lend me your strength before I am crushed by this weight. I cannot continue down this path that destiny bestowed upon myself and Arthur alone. Knowing what I have to do has given me a reason but now I am drowning in this all with no one to save me. My father is dead. My mother, I could never endanger her life. William, my only friend for so long, he too is dead. The great dragon, I have no trust in him besides that I have banned him from ever returning here. Lancelot, he is a knight of the round table, one of Arthurs most trusted men. Gaius, although he may be my ally, he has a more important job to do as the court physician._

 _Then there is you, my beloved Freya, the one I could say anything to and you would take it all with a smile and wrap me in your arms and tell me that you support me, what I am doing is just, and that my goals will be achieved; that I can bring magic back into Camelot. But you and I are separated by a veil I cannot cross, at least not yet, my Lady of the Lake._

"Merlin!"

I felt the familiar hand of my dear friend Lancelot slap against my back, and before I could even say anything my vision went black and my knees gave out.

Damnit.

* * *

 **Lancelot:**

"Oi! Merlin!"

My body moved to its own accord to catch Merlin before he really did himself in on the floor.

"Merlin." My hand clasped around his jaw as I shacked his head while his body was resting on my legs, and there was no response, not even a flutter of an eye lid. "MERLIN! Stop joking around, this isn't funny, come on…" Thanks to living as I night my mind switched into battle mode.

Moving so he was lying flat on the ground I checked for a pulse and was relieved when I heard that steady beat, but a little distressed at the sound of his breaths.

"Lancelot, what are you doing?"

My eyes darted to the intruder to the scene and I let out a breath, it was only Gwaine, "Merlin collapsed, I am just checking to see if he is alright."

"What do you mean he collapsed?"

"I went to great him and the moment I touched his," I stopped hid sentence and look back at Merlin, "why would you do that Merlin?"

Ignoring Gwaine I move so that I can turn Merlin onto his side so I can look at his back. I almost didn't need to lift up the thin sheet of material to know that something was definitely wrong; there were wet patches of cloth that clung to his skin when I went to lift the shirt. I sucked in my breath when I saw what it was.

"Jesus,"

"Gwaine, now is not the time-quick go tell Gaius that we are coming, and if you can make sure Arthur knows that we won't be going hunting with him this morning-something important has come up."

I didn't wait around to hear his response, I just scooped him up and carries him as gentle as I could towards his champers.

* * *

Once word was spread to Arthur what the situation was about, it came to no surprise when he called of the hunt with some poor excuse and promises of a better hunt the week after.

Right now, we-as in the knights of the round table, the King and Queen, the physician and of course Merlin were all packed into one room. Although sadly, with all the commotion, Merlin has yet to regain consciousness.

"I am going to have to remove his clothes now," not one person budged from their spot and Gaius only let out a sigh as he took out his scissors and cut off his clothes.

Gwen let out a soft cry and turned towards Arthur whose own face hardened when he wrapped his arm around her.

Even was the first to leave, cursing out in the fall and banging his fist against the wall.

Sir Leon left shortly after and all you could hear were the sounds of a man puking.

Gwaine sank to the steps to Merlin's room, his eyes wide and had covering his moth; for once not a word left it.

Percival stepped back, his fist clenched at his sides.

I was to numb to even blink at what I saw before me.

Gaius was the only one that stayed collected out of all of us, but his eyes held onto tears that he could not shed; not only for his sake but for all of us. Had he let even one fall, not one of would be able to contain ourselves.

Merlin was laid out on the table naked before all his friends and if we didn't know any better we'd have said it was a corpse before us. I could make out every one of his ribs; some that moved in ways that they shouldn't with each breath. His normal pale skin was no varying shades of yellow, blue, purple and black.

Wounds littered his body with various depths and length; some with dried blood, others still dripping.

"Merlin my boy, what have you been getting yourself into…"

What indeed.

* * *

Hours passed of just cleaning and dressing wounds on the front of his body we haven't even touched the back yet which to me was the most concerning. By then only myself, Gwaine and Arthur were left in the room helping Gaius and waiting for Merlin to wake up; the other I can imagine are off taking their frustrations out at the training grounds or just clearing their heads of this whole ordeal.

Right as we were about to turn Merlin onto his side, his body gave out a jolt as if he had been struck again. Rushing to our feet we all move to his side, wondering what we could do to help in this situation.

That's when I heard it, the soft mumbling of an incantation, and I knew if I could hear it so could the others; my head snapped to Gaius to find his brow set and his eyes gleaming with a look that could only be fear.

"No…"

Merlin's body jerked once more, and Gaius moved like he was twenty years younger, "someone grab his shoulders and his legs, we must keep him still, no matter what happens-do not let him move." And with that Gaius positioned himself so that his hands could be at either side of his head. I grabbed down onto his legs and Arthur and Gwaine both took one shoulder.

"Merlin, control yourself."

Gaius' warning was left unheard for Merlin's eyes shot open and he took in a loud gasping breath of air; normally that would have been a good thing, but not now. His normal crystal gaze was now molten gold, the tell-tale sign of a sorcerer.

Oh Merlin, why did this have to happen to you of all people.

* * *

 _ **And there you have it, the reason behind the silence of the normal rowdy group; there loveable, impish Merlin has been heavily harmed, and is looking like a walking corpse. Oh and two of the three of his closest friends have just discovered a secret Merlin thought he'd die with. I wonder what shall happen from here on out.**_


	2. Questions and doubts

~Hello fellow fans of the Merlin world! Tis I, Sydney-the author that rarely updates and half asses the majority of my stories…yaaaaaaa! Anyways, we should know the standards Disclaimer-I don't own, if I did it sure as hell would not have ended like that. Also!

This is normal writing.

 _ **This is my smacy narrator writing.**_

 _And this is POV's thoughts._

That should be it…so enjoy this! keep in mind when I started writing this, it was only meant to be a one-shot but it has kept growing!

* * *

 ** _Men known for their liveliness are huddled in the corner of one of their frequent haunts, troubled over the knowledge they have gained over their loved loved and cherished friend. One that they all acknowledge as the reason why they are all as close as they are now. The one person that bonds them together, that makes them forget that they are men from all walks-from nobility, to blacksmiths, runaways and free fighters; the one friend that makes them all equal. Merlin, the servant that always had something to say no matter how trivial or how wise, his words were always followed with reassurance and a smile. And now, now these men are at a loss. Something completely out of character for these fine young men if I do say so myself, I wonder if we have reached a turning point in their story, has their story finally reached its climax, how wonderful!_**

* * *

 **Arthur:**

I can't stop seeing Merlin every time I close my eyes; that thin beat and battered body practically laying on deaths door and those eyes. Eyes that have plagued my dreams since the first time I ever saw such eyes glow, I just never pictured Merlin, the oaf that can barely hunt, to have those eyes.

How could I not have noticed him before all this has happened-before the first bruise, the first scar and the first signs that he allowed himself to become one of those monsters. He always smiles and makes those snide remarks about everything and anyone; so how could have known he was hiding something like this. He never complains…well, never protests to work given to him, he always does it without fail, even if he whines about having to do it for hours. But that is just Merlin, from day one he has always done that, and up until now I have never questioned it.

"Damnit." I slammed by palm down on the table, startling the men around me out of their own thoughts.

"How has he been functioning in such a condition any other man I know would have been crow feed with that condition."

I life my head and look over to Sir Leon and sigh, placing my cup down on the table I make sure to look over at Gwaine and Lancelot before I give out my theory; upon seeing their nods I lower myself over the table, giving the hint I don't want this conversation heard by anyone.

"After you all left, it was just myself, Lancelot, Gwaine, Gaius and Merlin. Well Merlin came to,"

"What-he's awake, why are we here, we should be with him now!"

"Evan, stele yourself and let me finish."

"Yes Sire."

I cleared my throat, "Anyways, as I was saying, Merlin came to, but it wasn't a pretty sight. His body jolted around as if he were being struck, he was speaking or rather mumbling to himself then it all stopped and his body jerked and his eyes opened, but they weren't Merlin's…his eyes were gold."

I could feel the tension of the men around me for they all knew what gold eyes meant.

"There felt this enormous wind in the room-it was as if I were riding my steed across the field, the wind was warm and seemed to bring life with it but before I could wrap my mind around it, his body went limp and blood dripped from his nose. Gaius pushed us out shortly after that and blocked the door; so my theory on how Merlin is living with that body is that he is using magic to keep him alive."

The silence dragged on for what seemed like an eternity before I heard a throat clear.

"Lancelot, what is it?"

His face looked like it was conflicted in a very painful way, "If I must be honest, I knew; I've known for a very long time, before I came back to Camelot actually." His eyes looked up and straight into mine, "Do you remember that Griffin I slayed when we first meet, I never would have been able to that without Merlin, he is the one that placed a spell on my lance that allowed that to be a fatal wound. Then again with army of the undead, he is the won that defeated that enemy with a sword forged in a dragons' breath, a sword he had crafted for you-don't ask me why you do not have it now, but that's just how Merlin is."

That was close to five years ago when I first meet Lancelot and for that long he has kept this secret from me; this secret that is punishable by death. Sorcery is a crime, its evil, it is corruption at its core and to think someone like Merlin could possess it. Its unthinkable. Yet, looking back on the years since Merlin came to Camelot there has been a significant amount of magic related incidents. Monsters and plagues, undead armies with enchanted weapons and shields; it's almost foolish how I didn't see the correlation earlier. With Merlin's calmness around magic like when Gwaine, myself and Merlin went on the guest to retrieve that Golden Trident that from the start was riddled with magic; from goblins to dragons and even the very land itself. He is the one that warned me not to kill the unicorn, and he's the one that discovered the troll that was the would be queen of Camelot. It seems so obvious now when you start to truly think about it; all those quests and battles and he barely gets a scratch on him.

Although the more you think about him having magic and the continuous magical attacks that happen to Camelot, we have yet to suffer at the hands of defeat against our enemies. Camelot has always persevered pushed beyond our bounds. Could it be that Merlin was actually aiding Camelot even though the risk of getting caught would mean the loss of his life? What could he gain by this? What is his motive?

"Merlin has magic, Sire, what are we going to do about this. I know I don't want to see Merlin hanged or burned but we can't ignore that he is a sorcerer."

"It's Merlin, that harmless oaf can't even kill a rabbit what makes you think he's so dangerous now that we know he practices magic. Lancelot said he's had it for years and have you noticed any change in him in that time?"

"Magic is magic Gwaine."

Lancelot slammed his fist on the table, "You can bicker amongst yourself, but there is nothing that will change my mind on Merlin. I came back to Camelot to prove myself to him that I could accomplish things on my own without help from him, I came back to help him in his quest." He let out a sigh, "There is no point to talking about this without even hearing Merlin's story or the reason why he had stayed in the one place that will kill him if there is any slight indication of practicing magic. Merlin may be a fool but he is not an idiot. There is a reason he stays here; don't you think before you pass judgement on him you should at least confront him about it."

Lancelot downed his mead and placed the empty cup on the table before rising to his feet, "So while you all sit here and fight about what needs to be done with Merlin, I am going to see how my friend is so at least he knows that one of us still stands with him." He turned to walk away, "Arthur, you are my comrade and close friend, but Merlin…he's my brother, should he be put to death, know I will stand beside him."

* * *

The atmosphere that Lancelot left us in was heavy with almost a sickness to it, questions and doubts running through each and everyone's minds as his words echoed in our hearts.

There was a thud on the table and Gwaine's untouched mead splashed onto the table, "I am not from here, so I never really understood the hatred against magic, but I am your knight and I am proud of that. But if it weren't for Merlin, I don't think I would be here. So for him, I have to at least hear him out on this."

And six turned into four, and eventually it was just me and Sir Leon sitting in silence staring and the four empty places at our table.

"Sir Leon, you served my father before me, you have seen the power of magic with your own eyes, please help me make sense of this."

The old man scoffed and drank from his cup, "Sire, I couldn't make sense of this even if I thought it over for the rest of my life. It is true that I served and fought with your father with his crusade against magic when I was much younger than what I am now; back then I was blind to it all, just fighting because that was what I was told to do so that is what I did. I never questioned or doubted under your father's rule, not until the end that is.

When Merlin first started his service I was still the same man I was when I served your father, still blinded by hatred and the preconceived notion that all magic was evil and the source of corruption. And you Arthur were Uther's shadow, you never once disagreed with him or went against his judgment; what Uther hated you hated, what Uther encouraged you pursued with your earnest. But slowly you changed, you started to question yourself, questioned your actions and reasoning's; I like to think that Merlin showed you how to do that, but as you questioned yourself you made mistakes, you got angry and frustrated with yourself but you also became stronger. You surpassed Uther long before you were ever King, although you have your emotions and beliefs, you will stand true to them until you are proven wrong; you never falter your faith within people and will fight for them till you are blue in the face.

Arthur, you have always listened to both sides, you have always acted with your instincts and if you made a mistake you have corrected it. Although with this situation, a mistake made might not ever be able to be corrected but you can't forget everything you have learned about yourself to be tossed away because of this. I myself am struggling and I am not as close to Merlin as you or any of the other knights are; but since Merlin has lived her my eyes have opened and I can see for the first time as a knight, that like a sword magic can be used to protect or defend it depends on the wielder of the weapon."

I let his words soak in, it's strange having your thoughts thrown at you from a friends but somehow it helps ease my mind that I am not the only one thinking like this. Pushing my tankard to the center of the table I raise to my feet, "Come on Sir Leon, let's go get some answers to this."

* * *

The glow of the fires light danced through the cracks of the old physician's door and into the empty hall; normally a telltale sign of a peaceful evening between Gaius and Merlin, or at least that is what I have come to associate this scene with on my nightly rounds of the castle. This time as I approach the door I can just hear Gwaine's frantic yelling and the sounds of wood scrapping across the stone. Sharing a look of confusing with Sir Leon we pushed open the door to find the five men either sitting or standing around in a circle with their arms crossed and heads down; well besides Gwaine who was cursing up and down and moving things about the room.

"What is going on here?"

"Well Princess if you would kindly open your eyes, you can see that Merlin is missing right now and the old man isn't talking."

My eyes snap towards the bed that Merlin was on just before the three of us went down to the tavern before I looked over at Gaius. The old man had his eyes set in a glare and arms folding over his chest.

"Gaius, please, can't you tell us where he is?"

"Arthur, "his arms unfolded and rested at his sides but his glare did not leave his face, "that boy is my ward and has become much like my own son. I know the law well enough to know what will happen to him if he should be caught, and I cannot bear the thought of having to tell him mother what has become of him even after she sent him here so that he will be safe from that fate; I cannot bear the thought of losing my family."

"Gaius, I don't want to kill him, I don't think I could, I just want to know. I want to know why,"

 _Why, what an understatement. I want to know why he stayed here, why does he practice magic, why didn't he tell me? Why is he injured, why, why, why; damnit! He may be a servant but he is my friend, the closest person I have to be besides my wife; not even my father understood what I think or how I fell, only Merlin. So why couldn't you just tell me you fool!_

"Arthur, promise me that you will not harm him at least until he can have a fair trial."

I felt like I was swallowing my heart, "You have my word."

The old man sank down onto one of his beds with a look of defeat upon his face, "I don't know where he goes when he gets like this; whenever he gets caught up in his destiny he hides himself away until he snaps. Then he runs and he won't come back till morning when it's time to start the day. He's been doing this for about two years now, but he talks about his place, a place within the forests of Camelot with a view of the mountains and the cold waters of a lake. I don't know why but he finds his peace there, I don't know what he did up until then but it has what he has been doing without fail. If you were to find him that is where he would be, but I would advise you to be cautious around him. His body is weak so his magic has been working hard to keep him alive so right now he may not have the control he normally has over it."

A lake with a mountain view, why does that sound familiar? Have I been there before, seems strange why I would know about it.

"That's the lake Merlin found that sword in that destroyed the cup of life! I know it, I could find!"

Gaius looked like he lost twenty years of his life with how pale he was, tears were hanging at the edge of his eyelashes, "Gaius, we will bring Merlin home, I promise, that idiot is our family too."

With that I gave the old man's shoulder a tight squeeze before looking at my knights, "This time we do not leave for Camelot, this time we leave for Merlin."

* * *

Getting out of the castle was simple enough, but finding a trail to follow Merlin, that was damn near impossible; how can someone so useless at hunting be this stealthy even in his condition, doesn't make any sense. Thankfully Lancelot had a general idea on which way this lake was and was leading us through the forest with confidence.

Hunting Merlin down didn't give me any sense of peace, ever since this whole ordeal started I have done nothing but worry about that idiot. He trips over his own feet, he still can't tell which end of the sword is blunt and nearly cuts himself every time; he also has the most unfortunate amount of luck when it comes down to stumbling into bandits. And that is only just him on a normal day, not in this weak body with magic of all things out of control. Just what was he thinking, he should have just stayed with Gaius and slept.

"Sire, I found blood, and lots of it."

I pushed myself towards the front of the group and had to stop the pile from coming up; that amount of blood lose would have been fatal to any man, but there is no body so one can only assume that he is still moving forward even with a bleeding wound like that.

"Who is this man, to be able to move forward even like this…it shouldn't be possible."

I looked down at the puddle of blood once more and promptly feel onto my back side. The blood was bubbling like a stew over a fire and the ground around it started to crack; scrambling to my feet I told the men to stand back just before a full grown oak tree burst from the earth with a loud thunderous boom.

All of us stood backed and watched in amazement and horror; there was no incantation, no spell, nothing. Just Merlin's blood, and if blood could do that, just what could Merlin do when he actually tried to cast magic. Was he really this powerful or is this just a side effect of a weakened body of a magic user?

"I don't know about any of you guys but I am so not pissing Merlin off again."

The rest of us just nod in agreement to Evans statement.

Since the incident with the tree we soon learned that our trail was new life; from flowers to shrubs for it seemed like Merlin's blood awakened the life within the forest so it made following him that much easier.

"Sire, I think I found him."

Slowly we all crept forward so no to startle him and looked over the top of a bush on the out skirt of the clearing before the lake. There was a figure standing in the glow of moonlight; his head was lifted to the sky and his shoulders slumped with his harms hanging as if they weren't part of his body anymore.

I took a step forward, "Merlin." I breathed out in a whisper.

My eyes widened and everything I thought about since seeing him on that cot this morning all vanished; my legs gave out from under me and I felt the urge to puke.

My truest friend just let out the most blood curling, painful scream I have ever heard in my life. The agony he felt echoed off the far off mountains and it is as if nature itself screamed with him.

Merlin, is this the real you, the one you hide from us all?

* * *

 ** _How will our heroes of old handle this situation; will their bonds break or be strengthened by this? Strange things are on the tides for these men that is certain. Also, I wonder what has happened to Sir Winchester, for it is odd for such a character to suddenly be missing; makes me wonder why that is._**


End file.
